I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
