how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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