bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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