my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
