in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize