no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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