AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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