Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize