shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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