Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
