I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
