your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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