I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
