i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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