Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
