Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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