What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
