Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
