Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
false alarm, still single
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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