i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
