the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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