I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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