Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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