and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
