I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
