I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
