I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
