I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
