puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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