erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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