she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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