you didnt know i had herpes?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
