is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
