My cat gives me a boner
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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