She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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