could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
