I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
