meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize