that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
