I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
