Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Enjoy the penises
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
