PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
