You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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