Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
