We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
