I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His nipple licking is glorious
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