Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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