She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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