Where are you?
In a non slutty way
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
