When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
