I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize