I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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