She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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