i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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