Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
