Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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