don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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