somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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