He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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