i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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